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what's it like next year?

much went on these past few days. many of my friends graduated last week, including my cousin last sunday, which means various graduation parties and farewells that will continue for at least the next 2 weeks.

last night was the first time in a week that i can go straight home after work. so i used this opportunity to finally walk the five blocks to do laundry. i was in desperate need to have some decent clothes to wear to work for the lack of choices in clean ones (been wearing faded old t-shirts and jeans that don't quite comply even with the company's casual dress code).

boston_evening_sm.jpgso anyway, after dropping off my laundry at the laundromat, i took my time walking back, enjoying the light drizzle and the dim light of sunset as it illuminated the old apartment buildings and their little colorful spring gardens on the front.

as i was walking, i remembered one of my friends who just graduated told me how it's finally time for him to go home and wake up from this ephemeral dream of our so-called life here. which then reminded me of a forgotten fact that yes, my real life is not here, either. it will not start until i go home, and i've been putting it on hold for the past 9 years; all the time saying that i will go home someday, without ever feeling the need to specify when someday is.

my work visa will expire next year in july, and will not be extendable unless my employer sponsors me for a greencard, which i'm pretty sure they will, if only i ask. i never ask, though... and i doubt i will. i never picture having my future here. i want to go home, yet it always makes me anxious to think about it. but i realize i can't postpone it any longer; i'm simply running out of time.

of course, if all goes well with my grad school plan, i will still be here for another 2-3 years from now. still, the pressure of having a more concrete plan for the future is there. and what if i didn't get in to the program? then what would it be like next year?

*paranoid mode on*

Comments

Can't you just get the green card, then? I mean, are they gonna punish you or something should you fail to utilize -- what am I talking about here -- it to its fullest?

*sing:
"pliis go home, pliis go home..."
"ooo..."

You know, d, your last paragraph just described something that I really wanna do back home here, but the sad thing is, Jakarta's streets are not that safe these days.

A quiet walk in an evening drizzle under the street lights is definitely a must-do. Just be careful you don't get migraines because of it ;) Happy weekend to you.

ano, if i get a greencard, i know i will never go home. it's so much easier to stay here and live life as usual than trying to go home and re-adjust to everything.

and yet, i don't want to live my whole life here. just like dorothy says, "there's no place like home."

dew, there must be some other places you could go to for a walk in (or outside) jakarta?

but yes, thanks for the concern. i will wear my hood to avoid migraine. ;)

sg, not sure if i have enough vacation days to go home this year, so we'll see... :(

well, have a good weekend everybody! :)

At night? Under a light evening drizzle? I don't think so ;)

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