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end of another chapter

as of january first, i'm officially homeless. everything's moved out, and the keys were safely slid under the door. it was sad leaving my apartment. i spent my last night there savoring the peace and quiet, thinking that would be my last night spent alone in my own place. and then it would be countless nights spent at family's and friends' where it would be impossible to be alone, even when i want to.

now my apartmentt is just another empty room for rent. ready for another person, another story. add a few more weeks, and it will only be a distant memory in my head. i would start to forget how the sun rays wiggle their way in the morning through the nice wooden blinds that open up to the alley below... or how comfortable it is in the summer to sit smoking on the cozy ledge of the far-left window while observing the neighbors across the street... or the way the ancient iron heater would make loud clanking noises when it first started to heat up at night in the dead of extra chilly new england winter...

after a few years (or maybe even months!), my entire life in boston would just be another episode past, consisting only of blurry snapshots of randomly collected moments out of tens of thousands of seconds, minutes, hours, days i spent in this city... while the rest of them would just dissolve somewhere in my brain, disappearing forever as if they never happened at all.

how surreal! to think that i'm actually leaving in two weeks...

Comments

What a sweet entry to remember the place you love. Really D, seriously. I read it and I can imagine how nice your place was, especially the "..how comfortable it is in the summer to sit smoking on the cozy ledge..." line :)

No worries deh, time heals.. I think you'll have many new friends here to start the new chapter.. :D

Dear, d, happy homecoming.

My goodness ... reading the entry is like drinking a bucket of ice water when you're dead thirsty: refreshing but overwhelming. I just love the fluency of the language and the word choice. I can imagine you sitting alone on the carpet in the middle of your empty apartment, while Bjork or Cocteau Twins or Billie Holiday quietly crooning from a portable (an I-Pod, perhaps?). You were wearing a white sweater and a pair of baggy blue jeans, your feet wrapped in woolen socks with white, grey and maroon stripes.

You were sitting with your arms folded on your knees. Your head was resting on your left arm. You had a faraway look in your eyes, thinking about the stuff you did, the parties you had, the moments you shared in the now vacant apartment. Every now and then a smile came up to your face, showing your white pearly teeth.

Then you remembered the night you spent awake to finish your Bjork costume for the Halloween. You remembered how hard it was to make the sock looked like a swan's head. But then you remembered how your friends dropped their jaws when you appeared thus attired.

You chuckled a little, and reached your right arm for the plain cup of coffee you put next to the portable player. You wished you had your favorite coffee mug with you, but it was already packed with the other utensils you decided to bring. It was still steaming hot, and you had to blow the steam a little before braving your lips to touch the liquid inside.

A flash of memory brought you back to Austin, and to the coffee shops that lined its street. What days it were. You felt a little pang inside you when you realized it might be years before you would return there.

You looked outside the window and stare at the dark, icy cold winter night sky. Well, of course it was not so dark. It's Boston, for goodness' sake, not some distant heaven forsaken land in the middle of nowhere. There were street lights, neon lights, and twinkles from the snow and icicles.

You rose and walked to the window, coffe cup still piping in your hand. You looked down to the street. There were some New Year's Eve revellers loittering, all wrapped up in bulky cold packs. You smiled again, this time at the memory of the last New Year's Eve fun you had with your friends.

The tail of your eyes caught your own reflection on the frosted glass of your window. You saw your face and suddenly you realized it was sad and happy and a little scared. You couldn't help wondering what your life would be after you left your beloved apartment. You didn't know for sure. You just had some apprehensions.

You hurriedly shook it off your mind. No, this is not the time to worry about the future, you thought. You wanted to have the last feel of the place that had been a part of you for so long. You wanted to really live your last moments of your life there. Yes, you had to do that. Before you forget how it was like to be the you who lived in the cozy apartment on the second floor.

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