randomscribbles

an sms at 6 o'clock in the morning woke me up. it was my sister. "dad has gone with jesus, june 2nd at 10:35am hawaii time." for a while i couldn't feel anything. i was numb. i was just hoping it was painless. dad has been in and out of the hospital for the past 4-5 weeks with his heart and kidney condition. finally, per his own & the family's request, the medication was taken off on thursday. about 24 hours later, he passed away in a morphine-induced sleep.

papa, i'm so sorry i didn't show you enough that i loved you. i'm sorry i didn't make enough time to be with you. i'm sorry i didn't always give you my best. i'm sorry if at times i didn't seem grateful for all you had given me. for all your love.

i hope somehow you understood all the things left unsaid. how thankful i've always been to have a father like you. how much you've meant to me. how much i've always admired your resolution, your dedication to your children. everything we could never repay.

papa, i wish i could be there with you in your last few days, holding your hand and telling you that your life had meant all the world for those who knew and loved you. that you've fulfilled all your purposes. that all your children love you and are very proud of you. that there was no reason to be afraid or sorry. that it merely was the time for you to rest with our father in heaven. no more worries, no more pain, no more sickness, no more tears.

Somewhere beyond the blue there’s a mansion for me Somewhere beyond the blue I’m longing to be I’ll see my Savior’s Face and sing forever more Somewhere beyond the blue someday (an old gospel sang by mom to him in his last hours at the hospital. dad tried to sing along with a smile)

until we meet again, papa. someday.