November 24, 2005

not-so-distant past

it's weird to be in warm weather in november and not seeing the usual christmas shopping rush or hearing the...


July 24, 2005

the problem of forgiving

it was the night when the medication was taken off from my father. i didn't feel like doing anything or...


June 27, 2005

it all started here...

one ordinary saturday night in boston, december 12, 2003, around 11pm, 307 beacon street apartment 4. a few bottles of...


May 12, 2005

three months and nine days

there are times when you just have to lock up all those unnecessary questions (that no one can answer anyway...


November 24, 2004

the surest way to erase someone from your memory

is not with a computer and cables stuck into your brain like in 'eternal sunshine for the spotless mind.' no,...


September 28, 2004

fed up

hanging by the invisible thread of false promises, stumbling from one deception to another. what a fool, believing there's still...


July 16, 2004

solitude

call me cynical or bitter. but really nothing is ever what it seems to be. i'll take solitude any day...


July 09, 2004

isn't it tragic?

dreams are beautiful only when they stay as dreams. when dreams become reality, they lose all of their worth. the...


June 01, 2004

still there...

it comes in waves in short and long intervals but it never goes away the slippery path of the uncertain...


March 03, 2004

a borrowed time

"They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"...


January 30, 2004

midnite contemplation

so is it all or nothing? or is it just half of something unreal? the confusion has to have an...


January 22, 2004

dazed

what do you do when you're faced with a temptation so absolute and so real that you no longer have...


December 17, 2003

holiday & the definition of happiness

in about 12 hours i'll be on a plane to honolulu for a 10-day vacation with my parents and sister......


December 12, 2003

bus 174

bus 174 is a documentary about a bus hijack that took place in rio de janeiro on june 12, 2000...


September 09, 2003

tuesday

can't think of a more enticing entry title at all. i sometimes wish that i don't have to put in...


May 29, 2003

so what is it all about?

i really need to learn to focus on one thing at a time. i always try to do multiple things...


April 17, 2003

escapist

if i were allowed just one selfish moment.... i wanna run far away, leave to another world, transform into a...


April 15, 2003

a few links...

i actually wanted to write more, but as i'm quite brain dead by now, i can only manage to post...


April 12, 2003

...

being happy is such an impossible thing sometimes......


February 19, 2003

three lies

three lies we learned in school: [1] answering questions as opposed to asking them, [2] endless memorization as a learning...


February 06, 2003

my only goal

(and i think everybody's, too, for that matter) is to find happiness on a day-to-day basis. this is my conclusion...


February 05, 2003

the insufficiency of language

"As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn...


January 02, 2003

personal vs commercial

hmmm... just finished watching episode 8 of meteor garden 2 (yup, i'm one of them :P) and read some of...


December 28, 2002

to be completely naked

"'...to say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what...


October 16, 2002

who i am...

In the complete chaos and confusion of my perpetual search for myself, quite unexpectedly, I ended up finding God instead....


September 20, 2002

inertia

moving on a straight line with no end and no beginning each day, everyday is just like the one before...


July 31, 2002

the loudest...

...sound of silence is ignorance....


July 28, 2002

we don't understand what we can't create.

and thus we can't fully appreciate them and take them for granted. like trees, for example....


July 22, 2002

"orang asing"

(a friend sent this today... very interesting stuff...) Tempo - 1 Agustus 1999 goenawan moehammad Ketika persatuan menjadi kesatuan, sebuah...


July 19, 2002

confusion

"An assumption developed that you cannot understand life and live life simultaneously... I would say that life understood is life...


June 28, 2002

???

sometimes i have this feeling that's just impossible to describe... like right now... it's like a sudden realization of my...


June 26, 2002

being categorized

i find it rather creepy that you could categorize people and predict their behaviors and emotional tendencies so precisely... could...


June 19, 2002

regarding mummies...

went to the mfa (finally!) after work with mina + jimmy... we spent the whole 3 hours looking at the...


June 15, 2002

part 2

just got this email (excerpt attached below) from a friend that sent me back into re-thinking the concept of 'home'......


May 30, 2002

about connection & home part 1

what is it about 'home' that it matters so much to people? it actually occured to me a few nights...


May 23, 2002

another nice evening...

went to yet another graduation party... congrats shella!!! :) was kinda bored at first cuz didn't really know that many...


May 22, 2002

bored.com

i found these at bored.com: "if you built a time machine with all new parts, when you went back would...